{"id":234,"date":"2017-05-31T08:22:47","date_gmt":"2017-05-31T13:22:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bound4lifestl.org\/?p=234"},"modified":"2017-05-31T08:30:17","modified_gmt":"2017-05-31T13:30:17","slug":"redemptive-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bound4lifestl.org\/?p=234","title":{"rendered":"Redemptive Love"},"content":{"rendered":"

What do you think of when you hear the word \u201credemption\u201d?\u00a0 This word I think can mean different things to different people based on their experiences, hurts, and journey in life.\u00a0 For me it has always brought me to a place of reflection.\u00a0 What Jesus did on the cross for me, that I\u2019ve been rescued from my former sinful nature because of His redemptive love.\u00a0 Up until a year ago, that\u2019s pretty much where it ended.\u00a0 Just some vague reference to Jesus and love, it had almost gotten to the point where it felt a bit robotic.\u00a0 Growing up in church I had heard those words my whole life.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t until I went through a rather traumatic miscarriage experience 7 years ago that I stopped and questioned what redemption really was.\u00a0 I had big questions for God.\u00a0 If you really loved me, why did you allow this?\u00a0 If you have redeemed me from the grave, then why does this hurt so deeply?\u00a0 Big questions like, how can I ever trust You again?\u00a0 I\u2019m being honest and a bit raw today because now that I\u2019ve come through that and have healed I can look at the scar and see the good that it has brought.\u00a0 When God takes the pain, the hurt and the yuck of this life and holds us as we walk through it so that we can see His glory in the midst of it, that is redemption.<\/p>\n

Redemptive love holds you and whispers, \u201cit will be ok, I won\u2019t ever leave.\u201d\u00a0 Even when you are pushing away with all your might because it hurts.\u00a0 Redemptive love says, \u201cI understand you don\u2019t want to trust me right now, that\u2019s ok.\u201d\u00a0 Redemptive love, never gives up.\u00a0 Miscarriage is hard.\u00a0 In my case we had 5 completely perfect and healthy pregnancies and births before the miscarriage.\u00a0 I thought I had dodged the bullet and that statistics of 1 in 5 pregnancies ending in miscarriage don\u2019t apply to me.\u00a0 Having had 5 babies previously I was well versed in all things pregnancy and birth and the unborn.\u00a0 I also knew the methods of early abortions and was well versed in how an abortion is carried out at all stages of pregnancy. In our experience we ended up in the E.R. after I passed out from blood loss during the miscarriage.\u00a0 I was given a drug to help the process.\u00a0 I later found out this was the same drug given to women in the first trimester who have elective abortions.\u00a0 The next day, when the drug did little to help things along we went in to see my Dr.\u00a0 She took one look at me and immediately decided I needed a D &C.\u00a0 She promptly found an open O.R. and reserved it for just that.\u00a0 Before I knew it I was being prepped for this out-patient procedure, again a procedure that is also used in early second trimester abortions.\u00a0 I went home that day empty and broken.\u00a0 As a dear friend who recently wrote about this topic so eloquently put it, \u201cPart of a sisterhood that I never asked to join\u201d.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
In January of 2016 I stood in this spot and wept as angry protesters shouted behind me. In May of 2017 we returned, full of faith and joy. Weeping may last for the night, but joy comes in the morning.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n

Empty and Broken, angry at God, and confused about how any good at all could possibly come of such a terrible experience.\u00a0 But God.\u00a0 As I\u2019ve healed over the past seven years I gained a perspective of that experience that allows me to see that there can be good from even the most painful of experiences.\u00a0 I asked God to show me a promise in His word, something, anything I could grab onto and not let go of to get me through.\u00a0 He drew me to Psalm 126.\u00a0 Specifically verses 5 and 6.\u00a0 \u201cThose who sow in tears, will reap a harvest of Joy.\u201d\u00a0 These two verses have sustained me through my darkest days, and have been a source of comfort when doubt creeps in.\u00a0 This promise in God\u2019s word is what I clung to with all my might during the pregnancy following the miscarriage.\u00a0 It was the promise I prayed into as we were waiting for our baby girl who joined our family through the amazing gift of adoption.\u00a0 Psalm 126 is why our son\u2019s middle name means, \u201cjoy\u201d and why our daughter\u2019s middle name is Joy.<\/p>\n

Joy comes in the morning.\u00a0 My heart has grown and changed in these 7 years.\u00a0 I am not the same person I was before the experience of loss.\u00a0 I believe in that experience, God in His kindness and mercy did answer my prayer.\u00a0 He did take something horrible, and used it for His glory.\u00a0 A cry of my heart for years has been, \u201cLord, give me your heart for the unborn.\u00a0 I want my heart to break with the things that break yours.\u201d\u00a0 This is one of those dangerous prayers that you pray thinking God will answer one way, but in the end He carries you through something so heavy and difficult that you come out on the other side a completely different person.\u00a0 Prior to experiencing the loss of a child I would pray for life, I would stand on the sidewalk outside abortion clinics and I would ask God to show me how He felt about the issue of abortion, but I never (not once) shed a single tear.\u00a0 It\u2019s a heavy topic.\u00a0 I was confused and thought as a woman, as a mother, that there was something wrong with me.\u00a0 Why didn\u2019t this grieve me to the point of tears?\u00a0 I believe part of it was that I didn\u2019t fully grasp what it was to walk through loss.\u00a0 Going through that season was like an opening of the flood gates, literally.\u00a0 I cried all the time, sometimes I wasn\u2019t even sure why.\u00a0 I would find myself suddenly overwhelmed with emotion, and grief.\u00a0 It was part of my healing process, but it was also part of the way God was using the terrible, horrible of personal loss to answer my hearts cry to know His heart.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This loss has been bitter sweet for the past seven years. While I could look at the end result and see how my faith has grown through it, there is still someone missing from our family.\u00a0 For me this loss was a double whamy in that we went through this during the spring, arguably my favorite season.\u00a0 Where once this season brought only good memories and happy thoughts of warmer days, these past seven years those good things also remind me of the pain of loss.\u00a0 If you had told me 7 years ago that this was the story God would write I wouldn\u2019t have believed you, but God writes the most amazing stories!\u00a0 1 year ago a brave and amazing momma choose us to parent her beautiful baby girl.\u00a0 She has shown a depth of love and sacrifice that still leaves me breathless, but it gets better; our court date to finalize was almost exactly 7 years after I had the D&C procedure.\u00a0 This is redemption.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Finalization Day!!! It’s official, she has our name.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n

This is God taking your mourning and turning it into dancing.\u00a0 This is what rejoicing in the Lord\u2019s goodness looks like.\u00a0 This is Redemptive Love.\u00a0 We\u2019ve walked through the pain of loss, we\u2019ve leaned into Jesus, the only one who can truly heal our hearts, and we have our Joy in the morning.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What do you think of when you hear the word \u201credemption\u201d?\u00a0 This word I think can mean different things to different people based on their experiences, hurts, and journey in life.\u00a0 For me it has always brought me to a place of reflection.\u00a0 What Jesus did on the cross for me, that I\u2019ve been rescued … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “Redemptive Love”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":236,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[13,22,26,8,24,23,25],"class_list":["post-234","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-adoptionisredemption","tag-everylifehasvalue","tag-joycomesinthemorning","tag-life","tag-prayer","tag-redemptivelove","tag-scotus"],"yoast_head":"\nRedemptive Love - Bound4LIFE - St. Louis<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bound4lifestl.org\/?p=234\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Redemptive Love - Bound4LIFE - St. Louis\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"What do you think of when you hear the word \u201credemption\u201d?\u00a0 This word I think can mean different things to different people based on their experiences, hurts, and journey in life.\u00a0 For me it has always brought me to a place of reflection.\u00a0 What Jesus did on the cross for me, that I\u2019ve been rescued … Continue reading "Redemptive Love"\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.bound4lifestl.org\/?p=234\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Bound4LIFE - 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